This is a choice, you know.
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You have more control than you think, but the main problem is that you don't BELIEVE that you do.
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Maybe it's because of the conditioning you received from your environment during the early childhood development (formative) years that you became bonded to and continued the pattern as an adult because it was comfortable. It is all you know, and your mind seeks the comfort of familiar chaos instead of the temporary discomfort in change.
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I want you to know.... if you're reading this as an individual, a free-thinking adult individual, then REVERSING the conditioning you received earlier in life is NOW your responsibility.
. If you've spent most of your adult life pointing fingers at your parents, caregivers, mentors etc. instead of owning your accountability for the healing you need to do to overcome these inherited challenges so that you don't pass it on to someone else, then YOU ARE the problem.
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THE. WHOLE. PROBLEM.
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Now, you're probably a little triggered reading that, right?
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THIS IS ALSO YOUR PROBLEM. YOUR TRIGGERS ARE YOUR PROBLEM, AND NOBODY ELSE'S PROBLEM BUT YOURS.
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Wait.... what? My triggers as a result of what was done to me is now MY problem?
. Yes, honey. It's like receiving a gift that you never asked for, except you can't exchange it and there is no receipt.
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All of the ick, right? Totally.
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Why does the responsibility fall on you to heal past the trauma of what was done for you?
Simply answered: Because the people who "did it to you" don't see anything wrong with what they have done.
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These people are likely:
Victims of the same conditioning in their formative years.
Don't see that there is an issue with it, and accept it as part of their being. ( The flip side of this is that they DO see that there was an issue with it, and believe that they CAN'T change. This is FALSE.)
Narcissists who use manipulation and abusive tactics to get what they want from anyone in their path, and these are the most dangerous ones.
All of these types of people have one thing in common and that is DENIAL, which creates a lack of accountability for their part in the trauma. This is their "normal life", and they have accepted it.
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It's very unlikely that you will ever hear the words "I'm Sorry" from these people, simply because ignorance is bliss.
This is why I tell my clients that you should NEVER have any expectations, only boundaries.
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Expectations set you up for frustration and disappointment while Boundaries place the ball in your court so long as you create, enforce, and stand strong in the execution.
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The ONLY way to get rid of this gift that never gave anything positive up until your awakening to what was happening, is to acknowledge where it came from, accept it for what it is, and then put it in "the trash".
When we are talking about behaviors, thoughts, feelings, and emotions "the trash" is a metaphor for rewiring our brain to choose differently.
When you choose differently, this "gift" is now giving HEALING through sight (third eye) and acceptance so that you can love yourself enough to make these shifts.
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Triggers are like warning flags that pop up from Creator, our Higher Self, and Spirit Team that tells us "HEY! LOOK! We need to do some healing in this area."
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This is our higher calling to GROW, do the uncomfortable work in facing it, and heal past it.
Unfortunately, more than 95% of society let's their triggers disassociate and divide us as a oneness in the universe instead of using their third eye and heart to "see" and "think".
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Only YOU can choose to react to your emotions.
Nobody is FORCING you to do it.
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Undoubtedly, there are some people who DELIBERATELY "poke the bear" so to speak, because they thrive on the chaos and control that they have over you to solicit a reaction or response that escalates a situation.
. But once you realize that YOU have control over YOU, the game changes.
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This can go two ways:
You recognize someone's (or your own) toxic behaviors (thoughts, actions and emotions) and choose not to interact with it, rendering them unsuccessful in their attempt to control you.
OR....
You give all of your control to them (person, action, thought, or emotion) by reacting, responding, or giving into, and losing every ounce of composure you have, making you putty in their hand.
Do you see it now?
If you don't want to feel, act, or think a certain way....
DON'T CHOOSE IT.
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YOU ARE IN CONTROL.
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NOBODY HAS PUPPET STRINGS ATTACHED TO YOU UNLESS YOU ALLOW IT.
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You can choose to SEE the problem for what it is, own your accountability, and control YOUR portion.
Or, you can BE the problem by denying it, and allowing your emotions to drive you.
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WHAT YOU ALLOW WILL CONTINUE.
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Love you,
H
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